Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"Oh, really?"

WWSU Playlist
7 December 1988
Wednesday 9 p.m.-midnight

The Replacements – “Bastards of Young”
H Wipers – “I Want a Way”
TOTW Grant Hart – “2541”
H Wolfgang Press – “Shut That Door”
DC The Pontiac Brothers – “She Knows It”
M Mekons & Michelle Shocked – “Prince of Darkness”
H The Damned – “Fall”
PM REC Agitpop – “Out to Pasture”
H Angst – “Time to Understand”
H Angry Samoans – “Egyptomania”
K Public Image Ltd. – “Seattle”
DC Sex Pistols – “Bodies”
LS Big Audio Dynamite – “Love Sensi”
M Richard X Heyman – “Local Paper”
REQ/K The Waterboys – “We Will Not Be Lovers”

House of Love – “Christine”
H KMFDM – “King Kong Dub Rubber Mix”
TOTW Christmas – “Ring My Bell”
M Ofra Haza – “Galbi”
DC 1000 Homo DJs – “Apathy”
H Jade 4 U – “Midnight Rider”
K Violent Femmes – “I Held Her in My Arms”
LS (blank)
PM REC Biff Bang Pow – “She Haunts”
H Souls in Isolation – “Poltergeist”
M The VPs – “Ode to the PTL”
DC Velvet Underground – “Train Around the Bend”
M Deception Bay – “Not Far From This”
H Common Ailments of Maturity – “Restless Hunger”
PM REC Meat Beat Manifesto – “Kneel & Buzz”

Dead Milkmen – “Instant Club Hit”
H Alice Donut – “Lisa’s Father”
TOTW New Salem Witch Hunters – “Quinn the Eskimo”
DC Lead Into Gold – “Idiot”
H Rapeman – “Trouser Minnow”
M Tater Totz – “Give Peace a Chance”
H Coil – “Feeder”
PM REC (scratched out) Cheech & Chong – “Santa Claus & His Old Lady”
LS (scratched out) Fred Lane – “The French Toast Man”
DC Eclipse – “Slam Dancing Dog”
H Front 242 – “Headhunter”
K Ultra Vivid Scene – “You Didn’t Say Please”
H LMNOP – “It’s Your Head – Ignited”

There’s a song that keeps recurring on each playlist during this half of 1988, and that song is “Lisa’s Father” by Alice Donut.
The song was on an Alternative Tentacles compilation album called “Oops! Wrong Stereotype” and if memory serves correctly I – as music director – put a “play only after 9 p.m.!” warning sticker on it because the lyrics really pushed the envelope of bad taste back in the day.

The song is basically a spoken-word story about the singer getting visited by a religious fanatic who gives him a handful of Jack Chick Tracts. JCT’s, for those who may not know, are little pocket-sized comic books of gloom and doom meant to shock the reader away from his bad ways and onto the Path of Righteousness. Personally I thought they were a hoot, and for several years I collected them as one would comic books.

So the song continues along with the singer reading aloud the Jack Chick Tract and other band members helping out with the various voices and characters. It was one of the most requested songs at the station.

Lisa's Father

Hey! I'd like to tell you a story
about something that happened to me.
I was sitting at home just the other day
watching some TV, when there's a knock on my door.
And I went to the door to see who it was,
and it was a woman with no eyes.
And she had a handful of comic books.
And she gave me one and then she said:“Take it and read!”
And I took it, and I did read.
And the story was so moving and compelling
that I had to write a song about it.

It wasn't one of your regular comic books.
Rather, it was one of the publications out of California,
one of those comic books that's meant to convert you to fundamental Christianity.

And it was a story about a family.
And the father's name was ... his name was Lisa's father.
And the mother's name was ... her name was Lisa's mother.
And then there was a child, a five year old child, named Lisa.
Lisa - pure as the driven snow.
But she was driven in other ways as well.
I'll tell you about that later.

Lisa's mother was an alcoholic.
She used to sit and knock back JD from 8 o'clock
in the morning 'til she passed out at midnight.
Lisa's father however, he was a sinner of another sort.
He was a sinner of a different colour, if you know what I'm talking about.
He was a kind of a man,
The kind of a man who didn't keep the sinning to himself.
'Cos he was a child-molester.
This was a man who abused his little daughter Lisa.
Every night.
Every afternoon.
Every morning.

As soon as Lisa's mother was blacked out on JD he'd go up to Lisa's bedroom.
And he'd start waling away on this poor little kid,
making that sound:
“Oh waka waka waka baby baby baby, have me a good time. Yeah - yeah.”

One day he was up there, doing what he did tothat poor little girl,
when there was a knock on his front door.
He tucked in his shirt, and he ran downstairs,
and he pulled up his pants.
And he answered the door as quick as he could,
and he said,“Yo! Who's there?”
“Hey, this is Phil, your neighbor!”
“Oh! Hey, how're you doing?”
“Hi, Lisa's father…”
“How's the weather?”
“Oh, the weather is fine and I know what you've been doing with Lisa.
Well you gotta let me do it too, if you don't want me to turn you in!”
And Lisa's father said,“Whoa, I'm in the soup now! What am I gonna do?"
I gotta let him do it to Lisa or else he'll turn me in to the police!
"Okay! You can do it!You can do it too!”

And upstairs the two of them went.

And from that day on the BOTH of them were doing it to poor little Lisa.

One day the mother dried out just long enough to take that kid to the doctor.
The doctor took one look at this kid, and
do you know what the doctor said?
That doctor said,“Your daughter has a venereal disease!”

And that mother, she put two and two together mighty fast, I'll tell you.
She knew what was going on up there…she knew
What was goin’ on down there.

And she grabbed that kid and she started running home.
She ran home as fast as she could.
And she ran and she pointed a finger at Lisa's father.
And she said, “You repulsive little shit!I hate you! I hate you!”
And Lisa's father said,“Whoa whoa, I'm in the soup now! She knows what I've been doing to Lisa!”
He ran!

He ran out that door as fast as he could!
He started to make his way down to the bridge,
just like James Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life".
He was going to throw himself off that bridge.

But just then…A woman with no eyes and a handful of comic books,
walks up to him in the comic book.
Just like the woman in mine did to me.
And she gave him a comic book and she said,“Just pray!”
Just pray is what she said.

~~~~15 minutes later!~~~
And he said,“Whoa! I feel excellent!! I'm gonna go home and tell Lisa's mother about this prayin’ stuff.”
And he ran home, and he said,“Hey, Lisa's mother. Listen to this!”
And she said:“I hate you! I hate you! You Repulsive little shit!”
And he said,“Oh shut up you old cow! Listen to this! Get up and pray!!”

~~~15 minutes later!~~~
She says, she says,“I feel great!”
And Lisa's father says,“Let's call Lisa in here and tell her what's happening in our house.”
They call in Lisa.
And Lisa is a little scared.
She doesn’t like her parents much, as you can understand.

They say, “Hey Lisa. We've got some good news for you! We're never gonna hurt you,
never gonna hurt you anymore!”
And Lisa says,
Lisa says...

“Oh, really?”

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